I’m late.

Paul’s speech went horribly. He wrote out the outline and it was good. He did the research and that was fine. He did everything right…except prepare what to say in the actual speech. So when Paul went up there, he first lowered everyone’s standards and then gave a speech that was about 2:45 short of what it should have been. Paul got a bad grade.

But Paul laughed it off. His other speeches have been mediocre so he is not so worried.

It was a long day. He had work early in the morning. After that he had to go submit his lease guarantor form for his apartment (that is a document signed by a guardian that says that they can pay for rent if the leasee cannot or does not). Paul’s aunt in California is his ‘guardian’. Then he had classes till 3:30, one of his classes, his intro to art class, he hates with a passion. The long, boring hour and a half of a woman talking more about art history than actual concepts of art. But Paul is just trying to push through this year. After his classes was his failure of a speech and then home.

Paul realizes that sometimes he takes his family for granted. His mom and dad are off in China and he does truly miss them. His sister is away at another college and he misses her too…sometimes. His only other family is in California. His Aunt takes care of him very well. He is grateful for her.

And again, Paul misses his friends back in Oklahoma. He found out that he might not be able to stay in Oklahoma for the summer. He has to find someone to live in his apartment during the summer if he wants to live in Oklahoma. He worries about it constantly.

 Paul talked to his parents on the phone. He does so about once every week. He told them about his worries about his summer and all his worries about it and they kept saying pray about it. Paul got angry at this. Paul wanted a definite response, not some vague form of action. Yet, at the same time, Paul recognized his anger and started to ponder his faith. Had he lost faith in God? Had he lost his faith in prayer? He had gone through the past couple of weeks working on his faith, building it up, and suddenly, it all tumbled down when he got angry at the thought of presenting his problems to God. Not even the action, but even the thought of praying got Paul frustrated.

And then Paul wrote a blog in the third person.